A runner, a swimmer, a cyclist, and a triathlete all show up at a coffee shop. The runner ran there, the swimmer drove a car (a cheap one), but the cyclist and triathlete both rode there. The cyclist arrived after "a lovely group ride up north for a couple hours," adding the terms 'col' and 'souplesse' unnecessarily within their description of the ride. The triathlete arrived after a 32.6138 mile solo ride averaging 163 Watts.
Approaching the counter, each decides to get a snack. The cyclist orders a croissant, the triathlete has an energy bar, and the swimmer orders the left half of the pastry display. The runner asks for a cup of water. "Wait," the runner elaborates, "I'm light enough- I'll splurge." She orders a cup of water with ice.
When it comes time to order their drinks, the cyclist elects to order, after careful consideration, an espresso with a ristretto pull. The swimmer orders a Venti frappuccino and is noticeably saddened when she sees that the caramel drizzle was forgotten on the whip cream. The triathlete orders a protein shake. After confirming that the barista will blend in a salt-electrolyte tablet, the triathlete produces one from seemingly nowhere. In the background, the runner mournfully crunches on a cube of ice.
Receiving their beverages, they each go to sit in some plush chairs. The cyclist joins another group of roadies sitting in chairs arranged in an inward facing circle. During their animated conversation, they will occasionally pause and glance at the triathlete, scorning. The word 'Fred' is often overheard after several of the glances.
The swimmer, after an intense period of anxiety, spots a group of swimmers and joins them. Swimmers only socialize with other swimmers (swimcest). The runner sits alone. Because runners are weird.
(Don't shoot the messenger, you all know it's true).
Finally the triathlete surveys the seating arrangement. Having been divorced by his spouse, who took the children when the he took out a second mortage to finance his bike, he decides to sit near the runner and they strike up a conversation about pacing marathons. They set up a run workout together and agree to meet at the coffee shop the next day.
Oh I loved this post! Although, your triathlete sucks! His watts should be more like 178 for a 32 mile ride... unless he is riding his tt bike in dt seattle traffic (like team USA man - in his full aero set up), then it should be 156.
ReplyDeletethink you got the runner wrong - most of the fastest runners I know will just do some extra mileage so they can drink beer.
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